L-O-V-E. 
A four letter word, over used and under appreciated. The meaning lost in a world of online dating and texts through phones.

"chuckles"

 when you love someone, there's a pattern to the way you come together. You might not even realise it, but your bodies are choreographed: a touch on the hip, a stroke of the hair, nibbling of ears discreetly. A staccato kiss, break away, a longer one, his hand slipping under your shirt. It's a routine, but not in the boring sense of the word. It's just the way you've learned to fit, and it's why, when you've been with one guy for a long time, your teeth do not scrape together when you kiss; you do not bump noses or elbows.

"shrug shoulder"

 the thing about free will - is that you abuse it. by not using it enough. then you become an extension of your younger self, only this time, you are older and yet, non the wiser. how does that equate to being holier than other people? with all the added responsibilities, we still have time to let go completely and yet bark and hark at some who were just being merely themselves - nerds who wear their hearts on their sleeves.

me ? unfortunately i still ♥♥♥ them.

 

The 3 month stint in Aussie trip get a better out of me. 

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt.

Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. You just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance like a drunkard (oklah, i was drop dead drunk lah tt night), hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, wake up with the chirps of the birds (ala ala macm kat bird park gitu lah. GDI), be a flirt, be an exceptional annoyingly sista towards the younger one and smile until your face hurts (forget bout lines appearing, Yay to Botox) .

Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.

Yours Faithfully,
Lin ... ♥♥♥ (i know korang mesti nak cakap, "stop ehhhkk" with the ♥♥♥. Hur Hur hur)

To My Babiiisss,

we are not so smart ..  we are big fucking babiiisss. we are timebombs on an emotional landmine. we are our own pawns in our private game. we are our predictable and unpredictable comebacks. we are our own worst enemy for we could easily fall.
but we still sealed the deal and volunteered ourselves for this sick experiment.
why oh why.

WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

P.s : I hope they will be no more depressing conversations like tt anymore. Akak donch like tt !!!
Think Happy Happy Tots !!!

XOXO
I know u babiiisss still LUP me !

I thought the blighter would have been banished by now but what bad, bad luck that he is still around, at large, wasting the world's resources. People like him isn't accustomed to theories of penance and regret. Instead of letting his kind roam around the entire world, they ought to be shot and left for dead in the deepest jungles of Africa or probably somewhere thats not on the world map. A land so uncivilised and not meant to be ever discovered. Men like him, are very primal, barbaric and very much neanderthals in their own right. They worship anger and violence and abuse their masculinity thinking that they can get away with it. Sometimes, they KNOW that they are going to pay a heavy price for such crude acts. They still do it anyway.
Is this just 'machosism' or plain stupidity?

Tsk Tsk .. U all donch know meh, such machismo in someone so helpless really !!!

The next time they do something sensible, toss them a banana.

Happiness is in the giving. It's wonderful to receive but it's the giving that makes life worthwhile.
I hope you like what I give.

Once u're out of the whole game for quite a while and then you try and do it again .. it is nerve-wrecking. I love crazy. Since im out of practice, i will have to hone my skills again. And then i ask myself why am i doing this? (and doing nothing to stop it from happening).

For 5 minutes i sat like an idiot trying to think of something charismatic to type. i believed myself to be in an excess of joy. We've all had these moments, haven't we? When you just know. yes? When you're suddenly graced with an access of erotic certainty. It had taken its time, true, but erotic certainty seemed mine now .. nevermind even if it's for a brief spell. i am pretty chuffed *smirks* 

He could be someone to anyone .. and anyone to someone ..

At this point in time, i really wish that i was somewhere far away from this din. I do not know what is the next stepping stone that i should leap on. 
I feel that i have been misunderstood all my life. Innately wilful but all i want is just a glimmer of hope that someday someone would understand me. 
i do admit that at times i have done certain insane acts in my life. These led to many speculations about myself. But i seriously believe that i have my own right to lead life the way i want it to be. Why do i live this way ... why do i indulge in a certain degree of loose madness .. why do i even bother to complicate my life .... 
My needs are simple. I know me now. I had a revelation today. I finally know what i want out of this sphere of a felon's cell. i am tired from being misunderstood. I can never the being that they want me to be. I am too stubborn for that. But i do love them a lot and hell..i do not know what to do to appease them. There is one most obvious way but i simply cannot do it to comply.

It hurts to hear those malicious words thrown at you when you know you are not all that. And i am sick and tired of these verbal abuses and periodical shout fests. There is no sense of self control. The purest of intentions were never given the chance to surface. Only the madness ignited by anger that managed to push its way through for the world to see. If i could holler for the whole world and for entire mankind, id say ... just please understand and take time to 
understand the real me. You THINK you know me. BUT sadly, you do not. Nobody does. 

I am beyond tearing. It has been wasted for my adolescent years where i cried every night just so that i can release this feeling of being stifled. I need room to breathe, to be me, to just show how nice i can be. but now, it seems that situation calls for a 911. i want to run away but i cannot. I lost some important pople in my life because they think they know me too well. 

I have always felt that i was born to carry the burdern of e world on my fragile shoulders. Framed & maligned. But in the end, i am the reliable soul that lurks at the backgorund. Always around but never truly foregrounded. I tried to put myself in their shoes. But nothing seems ever enuff. What else do i have to do to just feel the air of liberty and be me and be understood. It is such a simple state of nature but yet so complex if no symbiotic relationship is achieved. 

I have come to loathe these bunch and their superiority complex. What do they know of life on the other side. To criticize and chastise can be the simplest of chores. But to understand and compromise with something you were never exposed to is a feat. I am glad i have been on both sides and i really cannot give 2 shits if you or the whole fucking world thinks i am extremely out of control. To know the lives of those in the ghetto is to be wit them. Criticization is an act that is supposed to be coupled with a sense of responsibilty. But oftentimes, people forgot abt that itsy bitsy part. Do not ever criticize or make snide remarks about the life you never had. 

Pity 
Who are we in our egocentric folly to devaluate the emotion of pity? Pity is nice. Pity is beautiful if u let room to breathe. It consists only of selfless solicitude and care. When was the last time you felt real pity for someone? 

Weakness 
Given half a chance, weakness is not something to be ashamed of. It's there. Give it room. Let it breathe. Have a lil pity on it. I do.
I allow my weaknesses to live. I give it its head. 

Grief 
Grief is like the split milk of regret and the shit part about grief, the shittiest i daresay is when grief gets round to hitting you. It takes its own sweet time to hit you, and when it finally gets round to hitting you , you stay hit. for the longest time ever. Grief wants the clock turned back. to be given clemency and craves a second chance. 

All 3 can really f**k you up if you let it. 
But weaknesses and disabilty should be cherished. It makes you more human and certaily more special.
Yr faults makes you more loveable ( WARNING : at times ONLY). 

Oh what the heck .. prep talk from an insomniac. 
I won be able to sleep. then i'd have to blast some Fedde Le Grand, Stylus Robb or Moloko in my room to calm my razzled nerves
or last resort, read a trashy romance novel. 
speak of retributions, the cycle will come to a full circle. My retribution for $%^& but i swear i do not have any purposeful intentions for doing it. 
i was just going with the flow and well, the flow wasn't tt smooth apparently. so what if i did? 
its a dog eat dog world. if i dun go breaking theirs, they'll hurt mine. my heart is already like: a broken vase tt miraculously still stays intact after MAJOR reconstruction and ULTRA-MAJOR surgery. One more break it'll turn to ashes. 

TIME TO RIDE and maybe ponder on the boat about my mishapen life 

 its not easy to digest the arrow coming your way and straight into your system. rather than create excuses or pull in the reins on the rebuttals, id rather help myself by ummm .. 
yea so let's try.

of muse and men..

you meet all kinds in this life ...
some will inspire you to do the wildest things
some will just be there to hug you aft you're spent

some will be your wings and take you on flights of fancy
some will be your rock and ground you to your reality

some will be your pillar of strength,

some will be your fountain of fire ...

and you,

will you be a preacher
or
a poet ?

"garam secukup rasa"
why is it that whenever our moms give us cooking lessons, they always end with "garam secukup rasa" (salt as you wish)?
is it a gentle reminder that everything in life is to be taken with a pinch of the salt of reality; every high, every low, while you're up or down below. just a pinch though, just enough. and how much is enough?

"tepuk dada tanya selera"
no exact measurement of how much is too much or too little, it's as you like it. is it a subtle way of telling you that you reap what you sow, you eat what you cook. and you better like what you're eating cause you're the one who cooked it. how silly would it be for the mouth to refuse what the hand is feeding.

i talk to you, you know

i chatted, i pleaded
i joked, i cajoled, i raved, i ranted,
i mambo-jumboed prittle-prattled ramble-babbled my way
to dawn ...


thanks then, for accommodating all this while, you've been very SWEET & KIND.
much appreciated.